Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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