Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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