i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
