Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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