I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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