I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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