I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
