i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
