There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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