I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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