I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
