We named our party play list daddy issues
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
