This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
