Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
