i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
