Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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