His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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