the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
