hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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