My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
