I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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