white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Alive.
So much puke
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
and you fell through a lawn chair
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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