Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize