they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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