everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
how does that bad decision feel?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
