Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize