"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
