Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize