The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
