This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
