I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
