Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize