Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize