It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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