Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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