it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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