can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
