Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
