Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
