There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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