i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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