just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
