"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
