He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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