There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
