One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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