i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
