so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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