I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize