do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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