Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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