I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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