wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
