it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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