I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
only you would photoshop your dick
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
