Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
