The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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