thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
